Safe, effective drug/alcohol treatment

All across this country in small towns, rural areas and cities, alcoholism and drug abuse are destroying the lives of men, women and their families. Where to turn for help? What to do when friends, dignity and perhaps employment are lost?

The answer is Palm Partners Recovery Center. It’s a proven path to getting sober and staying sober.

Palm Partners’ innovative and consistently successful treatment includes: a focus on holistic health, a multi-disciplinary approach, a 12-step recovery program and customized aftercare. Depend on us for help with:

Is It My Fault My Loved One is Addicted?

Is It My Fault My Loved One is Addicted?

(This content is being used for illustrative purposes only; any person depicted in the content is a model)

Author: Justin Mckibben

I’ll never forget when I told my mother I needed to go to rehab. It was one of the hardest things I ever had to do, and what broke my heart was when she asked- “What have I done that my child has to live like this?”

This is not an uncommon question, so if you find yourself asking it please do not be ashamed. It is one of the most frequently asked questions from family members and close friends when a loved one is addicted to drugs or alcohol. A lot of people have a tendency to internalized the struggles that those they love most experience and wonder if they had some part in creating or adding to the issue. A lot of times mothers and fathers, husbands and wives, or even sons and daughters will see the suffering their loved one goes through and ask- is it my fault my loved one is addicted?

In a word- No.

The reality of addition is that any substance use disorder is more powerful than you or them, and likewise out of your control. As hard as that is to hear, it may be the most important thing to remember in the beginning. It can’t be your fault, because it was never up to you.

Substance Use Disorder

Substance use disorder is just that; a disorder. The root of this issue lies in the individuals thinking, which is why many in the medical world have defined it as a kind of mental health disorder that develops over time. No one can take all the blame for someone developing a disorder like addiction, no matter how hard it is to set aside that mindset.

Of course as we experience hardships we want to find someone to blame or pinpoint a logically explanation that makes sense to us, but the truth is it isn’t that black and white. Searching for a place to put all the fault is not effective or conducive to recovering.

Now some may examine the facts and read them one way, but it isn’t a fair assessment. We can even look at the idea of addiction coming from the perfect storm of nature and nurture.

The Perfect Storm

The ‘perfect storm’ comes from a unique combination of nature and nurture that create just the right atmosphere for an addiction to develop. So many people want to say it is because of generics, while others want to say it is because of the home, upbringing or life-style. The truth is, it is both, so it can’t be the fault of either.

Every human being on this planet is born with a genetic predisposition to addiction. Different DNA designs will promote different susceptibilities to addiction, and depending on the environment the individual is consistently in they may be exposed more or less. There is no precise formula for addiction that includes it being the families fault.

This is only further proven by the fact that substance use disorder impacts all walks of life:

  • Rich or poor
  • The homeless
  • Successful people
  • People with traumatic childhoods
  • People with nurturing childhoods
  • Men and women
  • Young or old
  • Any race
  • Any religion
  • Every culture

So even a parent who wants to blame themselves and say, “well it was my genes passed down and I raised them in this environment, so it must be my fault,” this is still not the case. All of this connects with how we turn to different coping skills. An addicted loved one makes a choice to rely on a substance as a coping skill, and the storm stirs to the point they have launched into a full-blown substance use disorder.

Guilt and Enabling

Many family members and friends will wonder if some action they took at some point pushed their loved on to use drugs. They will wonder if an event in the relationship had such a significant impact that they drove the addiction further. People are crippled by guilt when they think they had some hand in forcing their loved one’s decision, or maybe thinking they did not do enough. This guilt is incredibly counterproductive. It is not your fault because you cannot control how anyone decides to cope.

The sad part is that some addicts will notice their loved one’s guilt, and they will manipulate their family and friends using that guilt to get what they want. Your loved one may even try to justify their behaviors by blaming you, playing on your emotions to rationalize their harmful actions.

This is just one of many symptoms of enabling, but the reason most people give for supporting their loved one’s addiction and enabling their habits is that they feel responsible for the person. People enable addicts to avoid the guilt of ‘abandoning’ them. One of the biggest hurdles that family members and close friends must overcome is letting go and accepting that they have no control of their loved one’s choices.

We would like to offer you the FREE GIFT of a checklist to help decipher if you are helping or hurting a loved one who is struggling with addiction.

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Your Own Recovery

Recovery is not just for the individual, it is also for those closest to them. Learning the difference between how to give compassion, love and support vs enabling and minimizing is very important to the addicted loved ones recovery, and also to your own peace of mind. The recovery process for the family and friends means learning more about how it isn’t you fault a relative or companion is addicted. Learning more about the science of addiction and the causes of risk behavior can also take more weight off your shoulders and help you better understand your loved one.

Even if the individual is avoiding or refusing treatment, getting help for yourself may provide you with a better understanding of how to deal with issues that arise. And the better knowledge you have, the better a position you may be in to help.

Having a family member who has suffered can be harder on you than you know. Too many people don’t know how to get the help they need for their loved ones, and too many of our loved ones suffer for too long because they are afraid of the affects that the ones they care about most will face.

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How Do I Know I’m Enabling?

"How Do I Know I'm Enabling?" Dug and Heidi Answer Crucial Recovery Questions

Dug and Heidi McGuirk Answer “How do I know I’m Enabling?”

Enabling is a highly dangerous behavior that often discourages addicts from seeking treatment. Yet many loved ones of addicts struggle with enabling because they do not understand the consequences of their actions.

In a recent video, Dug and Heidi McGuirk, who run the Revolutionary Family program for Palm Healthcare, addressed the crucial topic of enabling. Often loved ones are in denial of their enabling behaviors or are unaware of how damaging enabling is.

Two of the most common questions they receive from loved ones of addicts are:

  • How do I know if I’m enabling?
  • What exactly IS enabling?

Dug and Heidi explain there are two barometers to determine whether or not you are enabling.  First, you must decide the motivation behind your actions. This will help you understand why you are doing what you are doing. Next, you must determine whether your actions are a product of wanting control over the situation.

“You can’t control anybody,” Dug McGuirk says. “You can only control yourself.”

Furthermore, if you are doing the following things, you are enabling:

  • Manipulating an outcome
  • Trying to “keep the peace”
  • Attempting to change someone
  • Trying to prevent a consequence
  • Trying to rescue or bail out

You must commit to stopping your enabling behaviors because ultimately, enabling causes more harm than healing when it comes to helping your addicted loved one.

“The lie we tell ourselves is that if we don’t do what we are doing, our loved ones will die,” Heidi McGuirk says. “Of course, that’s the biggest lie of all. More people die from enabling behaviors than other stuff.”

In the discussion, Dug and Heidi explain the greatest roadblock enablers tackle is determining whether or not their actions comes from a place of love or a place of wanting control.

Most enablers believe their behaviors stem from a place of love. But this could not be further from the truth.

“Enabling is the most unloving thing you can do,” Heidi McGuirk reiterates.

“Without pissing anybody off here, enabling is selfishly motivated, and it’s not about the other person,” Dug McGuirk says.

Instead of love, enabling is more about:

  • Safety
  • Convenience
  • Fear

So how does one stop enabling?

First, you must make the decision to stop, Dug McGuirk affirms.

Next, frame your decisions around two barometers.  Before taking any action, acquire an awareness of your behaviors by reflecting on the following questions.

  • Are you doing what you believe in?
  • What is your motivation?

“You don’t have any control over how someone operates or who they are, but you have control over how you experience them,” Heidi McGuirk says.

After you are aware of your current behaviors, the next step is to make decisions based on what is best for you, not your loved one:

“Once you have that awareness, now you can start making a better decision so step two would be to figure out what you want for you, not for your loved one, [but] for you,”  Dug McGuirk states. “What is it that you want to experience? […] Because if someone in your family is struggling with addiction, they’re always going to have that malady, so the question is how are you going to go through it?”

When it comes to helping a loved one struggling with addiction, set boundaries by asking:

  • How do you want to participate in their addiction?
  • What are you willing to be around for?
  • What are you not willing to be around for?
  • How are you going to experience their addiction?

If you want to read more download our free E-book “What is the Difference Between Helping and Hurting?”

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In the next discussion, Dug and Heidi McGuirk delve deeper into the steps loved ones should take to create clear boundaries. Stay tuned for next week’s post where we will explore the topic of creating boundaries further.  You can also download our checklist to determine whether you are helping or hurting a loved one with an addiction problem.

What questions do you want us to answer next?

If you are currently struggling with any part of the recovery process, please reach out to us for help. Our highly qualified specialists strive to make a recovery possible for everyone. If your or someone you love is struggling with substance abuse or addiction, please call toll-free.

   CALL NOW 1-800-951-6135

How to Detox from Drugs at Home

How to Detox from Drugs at Home

(This content is being used for illustrative purposes only; any person depicted in the content is a model)

Author: Justin Mckibben

When it comes to overcoming a serious drug addiction it is crucial to start your recovery strong and with a healthy and stable foundation. Long lasting and sustainable sobriety often means consistent work on not just healing physically, but also psychologically. After-all, drugs and alcohol are not the only symptom to addiction; it is often far deeper than the surface.

So when it comes to the question many people may ask- how to detox from drugs at home- the best answer we can think of is pretty straight forward… just don’t.

You may wonder why, especially if you think it is all just a matter of white-knuckled will-power to get through the initial shock to the system that comes without the substance. Maybe you are a parent or family member who just wants to help your loved one any way you can.

However, the truth is that trying to detox at home isn’t just an unnecessary risk, it can also be incredibly dangerous or even life threatening.

How to Detox from Drugs at Home: Withdrawals

Due to the withdrawals, which can go from modern to overwhelming, many people want to find a way to detox comfortably. Therefore, many people trying to figure out how to detox from drugs at home do so because they want to avoid the physical discomfort while still working towards getting clean.

Then depending on pre-existing conditions or adverse health effects of drug abuse, there can be other medical complications during the detox process that most cannot diagnose or treat at home.

There are also drugs that are so potent and damaging that if someone tries to detox at home “cold turkey” they may do far greater harm to the body and vital organs. Some drug withdrawals can actually kill. If you are to ask how to detox from drugs at home with a primary concern about withdrawals, it is probably not a good idea in the first place.

How to Detox from Drugs at Home: Maintenance Drugs

The physical dependence on the substance that develops from extended use and increased tolerance can be a nightmare. The detox process can be incredibly difficult for most people. Some people have used medication maintenance programs like methadone or Suboxone to try and get off illicit drugs, but often times these methods are also unsustainable in the long-term. Usually, these medications also have side-effects of their own.

Suboxone, for example, is often used as a maintenance drug for opioid addiction. The problem is, there is a lot about Suboxone that most people don’t know.

If you want to read more download our free E-book “5 Things No One Tells You about Suboxone”

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With methadone people find themselves visiting a clinic to receive doses of a maintenance drug that has become infamous for its own horrible withdrawal symptoms.

In the end, recovery experts consistently insist that these drugs are only really useful when accompanied by cognitive behavioral therapy or comprehensive addiction treatment.

How to Detox from Drugs at Home: Relapse Prevention

Another crucial part of drug detox that a lot of people forget about is the importance of relapse prevention. While most people think of detox as just the first stages of trying to get clean, the reality is that there is still an incredibly high chance for someone trying to detox at home of relapsing. Not just because they aren’t removed from the environment in a secure facility, but also because they are struggling with withdrawal while also not getting the strong support and treatment.

Truthfully, most addiction treatment professionals and experts agree that detox should always be done with the supervision and support of medical professionals. Behavioral therapy and other forms of treatment are also critical components of shaping the foundation for recovery from drugs and alcohol. Beyond medication or even natural remedies to combat withdrawal, people also need to develop coping skills to prevent relapse.

Instead, Choose Safe Medical Detox

It is true there are cases of some detox attempts done from home, but at the end of the day it is still an unnecessary level of discomfort and risk. Because people do also die from trying to detox from dangerous drugs at home. There is no need to kick and scream on the couch when there are so many resources that provide safe medical detox.

Ultimately, the specific substance, the length of use and the severity/frequency of use will determine how difficult the detox process will be. A combination of volatile substances can also create a whole new danger.

So instead of giving you a list of supplies, which will be incomplete or insufficient, or giving you a few cliff notes on how to detox from drugs at home, we thought it was important to stress why event though it may be ‘possible’ it can also be harmful, and in the end can even be counterproductive.

The Palm Partners detox facility has a 24-hour medical and addiction professional staff to continuously evaluate individual progress, administer the appropriate levels of medications and provide unlimited support during this process. Our highly qualified specialists genuinely strive to make recovery possible for everyone who needs help. If your or someone you love is struggling with substance abuse or addiction, please call toll-free.

   CALL NOW 1-800-951-6135

A Powerful Story from the Face of Addiction

A Powerful Story from the Face of Addiction

Author: Justin Mckibben

Wednesday evening, 9 Frederick County residents in Area 31 in downtown Frederick went in front of a camera. But this wasn’t any ordinary photo shoot. Not some promotion for a new shoe or the next big diet plan. These 9 brave individuals went under the spotlight to divulge some of their darkest memories of addiction, to spread home for recovery.

The filming is for a new video on recovery awareness. Stories like these of struggles and survival are incredibly powerful.

The Face of Addiction

The project has the title “I Am the Face of Addiction.” This in-depth film is intended to showcase progressive and empowering narratives from individuals in recovery. Ultimately, the hope is to inspire other residents of the area struggling with substance abuse.

The dream behind the film and a lot of the work put into it comes from Pam Knight, a Libertytown resident. When talking about how the project came to be, Knight stated:

“We just want to break the stigma of the term ‘drug addict,’…This is a major epidemic, but there are still so many people who are too ashamed or too embarrassed to admit ‘my life is out of control.’”

Knight, a former special education teaching assistant at Linganore High School, has her own history with addiction. That history puts her in a unique position to know the power of perspective.

Accidentally Addicted

In active addiction, at face-value Knight’s life seemed flawless. Her husband, Daniel, owns a successful hair salon in Frederick. The couple has three adult children and three grandchildren. To some this sounds like the American dream, but many wouldn’t know there could be nightmares behind the scenes.

Under it all, Knight was hid a pill addiction for years. She says it began in 2011 after falling off the bleachers at her son’s high school football game. After she was prescribed Vicodin for pain, she began taking more and more. While in the beginning she said the pills made her feel “like Superwoman,” she later describes the experience of addiction as “purgatory.” Knight stated,

“Towards the end, there was no high anymore. You have to have it to make your brain feel normal. The first thing I would do in the morning is pop my pills.”

It didn’t take long before Knight graduated from Vicodin to Percocet. After experimenting with opiates she began doctor-shopping to obtain prescriptions. She admits that her final years of addiction she found herself buying pills off the street.

Her drug of choice was Roxicodone — known as “Roxys” on the street — an opioid-based painkiller. She would purchase quantities of 30 milligram tablets and take multiple doses at a time. Knight said,

“If I didn’t have them, I would get horrible shakes.”

Seeing the Signs

Knight’s husband and her oldest daughter, Loren Maxwell, admit that Knight’s gradual descent into addiction was easy to brush off in the beginning. The signs were somewhat there, but not easy for her family to see for what they were.

Her husband Daniel said he would notice days when she seemed especially manic or sweaty, but Knight always had an explanation.

Maxwell said her mother’s ability to function made her addiction harder to spot. Many people don’t acknowledge the dangers of ‘functioning addiction’ because they don’t understand it.

During this time the family said the signs were simple to dismiss unknowingly or miss altogether. Now that Pam Knight has gone through recovery, Daniel Knight said,

“I see them everywhere.”

Family Fight Knight

Like many people have experienced, the fight with addiction can often be a family affair.

Knight’s youngest son, Connor, was also struggling with addiction at the same time as his mother. Like Pam Knight, Connor said his problems started with the opioid painkillers prescribed for his football injuries. His struggles with opiates graduated much quicker. At 17 years old, Connor first snorted heroin with a bandmate, and his progressive addiction took off.

After years, both Pam and Connor finally found a new chance through rehabilitation at treatment centers in Florida.

Pam has been sober for three years; Connor for 11 months.

Inspiring Others

Pam Knight’s motivation for sharing the gritty details of her experience for this film is to show that recovery is possible. Knight currently speaks in Frederick County Public Schools as an advocate for addiction recovery. She says she hopes to screen the finished video for these audiences to spread more of this story.

Other participants in the film also hope their contribution will inspire recovering addicts. A huge part of inspiring others is to help overcome addiction stigma. Statistically we know that far too many addicts prolong their suffering and lose their lives because they don’t know of a better option, or because they are afraid of the assumptions and stereotypes attached to addiction. Breaking those stereotypes is exactly why we need such powerful stories, such as Pam Knights. A mother, a wife and a miracle who has persevered through a great deal of difficulty. We celebrate her and the others involved in this project helping to reach out and change lives by showing people the true face of addiction is not always what you would expect.

Sharing your story isn’t always easy, but once you have a chance to rewrite your story it can be more powerful than you can imagine. It isn’t always easy to change that story, but it is always possible. If you or someone you love is struggling with substance abuse or addiction, please call now.

    CALL NOW 1-800-951-6135

“Deargusting” Crystal Meth: Alumni Submission

Deargusting Crystal Meth: Alumni Submission

Photo of original Goodbye Letter

Introduction Author: Justin Mckibben

Our Palm Partners Alumni are very diverse and incredible people. They come from all over the country looking for a way out of the suffering addiction and substance abuse has brought them. Every one of them has a story that is unique and emotionally powerful. So many talented and passionate individuals find themselves fighting for their lives after drugs and alcohol have taken so much from them. We are proud to be a part of their stories and help them write new chapters that inspire compassion and hope.

Today a Palm Partners Alumni presented me with a letter. In this letter addressed to his drug of choice, crystal meth, he shares how his addiction progressed and how it impacted the most intimate aspects of his life. This goodbye letter to crystal meth is deep in its simplicity, and adamant in its message.

Here is Jose Ricardo Seole’s goodbye letter. There are minor grammar and spelling revisions, but the message remains clear and true to Jose’s truth.

Deargusting Crystal Meth,

I’m writing this letter for you to acknowledge what you have done with my life the past 6 years.

This is my mission to show you how your power of destruction attributes made my life unmanageable and miserable.

At first you introduce yourself as my best friend and companion, the cure for all my problems, until I realized that you are nothing but a deceiver.

Life in a strike and you trapped me inside of a prison cell, surround me with your lies and manipulation, taking my life from granted.

Because of you, my 16 year relationship of marriage became unbearable.

I isolate myself from my family, friends and people that care for me.

I missed all the important dates, from my marriage anniversary to family member’s and friend’s birthdays.

You took away all the spontaneous smiles that perhaps could make a difference in people’s lives

Because you exchanged my hero’s patterns for holograph images of ghosts.

You took away all the magic moments that were written on the stars for me, promised by God.

Out of this daze, all the good moments we had together were nothing but my state of mind telling me to stay inside of a comfortable zone.

The deep scar you left on me will be always there to remember the pain you caused me…

You did to me…

Let me say this loud and clear;

I’m burying all your lies, your manipulations and your power of seduction 10 feet underground so you can no longer hurt me. In fact, I just left your funeral.

Goodbye forever!

– Jose Ricardo Seole

We are exceedingly grateful for the opportunity to share this. We wish all the best of luck and progress to Jose in his new life. Our Palm Partners Alumni continue to grow and share amazing experiences, and these experiences touch our hearts deeply. We thank Jose for his very personal and introspective words, and for allowing us to be part of the process that brought some of this passion forward.

Jose expressed his feelings and emotionally commitment to his recovery. We hope this will show others that it can mean so much to speak up about the pain of addiction. The more we can share this reality, the more we can share messages of victory.

We know there are many Palm Partners alumni out there with talents, stories and experiences to share. Palm Partners encourages you to contact us and be part of the message that may help countless others. You never know how many lives you can touch, and how many people could make the choice that saves their life because of something that you choose to share. If you or someone you love is struggling with substance abuse or addiction, please call toll-free. We want to help.

   CALL NOW 1-800-951-6135

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